Thursday, June 16, 2011


OK, so I am on top of the world now. The Bruins are the best team in hockey!  Now, I can get back to business.

First order of business: eating.  Operation Human Monster costs a TON of money, so unless you are really affluent, read further. I shop like an old Jewish woman.  I mean this in the most flattering way possible to old Jewish women. I used to work in a grocery store, and they had every angle figured out on getting the best possible deal.  So that is my mindset when I shop: old Jewish woman.  Extreme couponing does not really apply to the foodstuffs necessary for Operation Human Monster, but the money you save on other crap can blow up your food budget. So I practice extreme couponing on lots of things, especially anti-inflammatories like Motrin or Aleve (believe me, you will need Motrin or Aleve at some point in time if you go hard and heavy).  If you live in the southern United States, Southern Savers is your friend.  They explain everything so that I do not have to.

Regarding the actual food stuffs, here is the weekly grocery list so that you can begin to fathom how much money this costs:

  • 35 eggs (save yourself time and boil the eggs at the beginning of the week)
  • 14 quarts of non-fat milk
  • 28 tablespoons peanut butter
  • 14 cups skim milk powder
  • 21 servings protein powder
  • 7 pints ice cream
  • 7 bananas (I get the ones that are 35 cents in the produce section that are close to over-ripe)
  • 28 tablespoons malted milk powder (Carnation can be found in the grocery store)
  • 42 tablespoons corn syrup
  • 35 slices bread
  • 35 slices cheese
  • 42 slices cold cuts
  • 5.25 lb meat
  • 14 servings vegetables
  • 7 servings fruit
In previous blogs I listed Strossen's diet and McCallum's shake.  I am using McCallum's shake and Strossen's diet to compile the grocery list.  Here is one simple strategy: look at the circulars before they are effective and carry them to a single store that will match their competitors' prices.  On stuff that won't spoil quickly, like peanut butter, back up a truck if it is buy one get one free.  For vegetables, garden if you can. Eggs and milk are going to kill your bank account, so good luck.

Second order of business: logistics.  Half of this is preparation.  I prepare the shakes for the day each morning in a huge batch, then store it in a portable GALLON container, which I carry to work and drink throughout the day. Yes, GALLON container.  I boil up a huge batch of eggs at the beginning of the week, then I carry them with me for breakfast and snacking.  For sandwiches, I just store up what I need for the week at work, then make them as I eat lunch or snack.  If you don't have a refrigerator at work, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe use a cooler with reusable ice packs? 

Third order of business: lifting iron.  I used to do way too much when I went to the gym, but now I have modified my approach and spaced things out.  Here is the general idea: four on, three off.

For example:


  • Squats 1x20
  • Pullovers 1x20
  • Shrugs 1x20
  • Standing behind-the-neck presses 3x8
  • Upright rows 3x8


  • Bench presses 3x8
  • Curls 3x8
  • Reverse curls 3x8
  • Nose-breakers 3x8
  • One-armed dead lifts (1x15 per arm)



  • Bench presses 3x8
  • Leg presses 3x8
  • Pull-downs 2 sets of 25 reps
  • Leg raises 2 sets of 25 reps
  • Arnold's 21s for arm work (look it up)
  • Hammer curls 3x8
  • Inclined triceps work 3x8

  • 20 squats
  • 20 pullovers
  • 15 bent-over rows
Saturday & Sunday REST DAYS

That's just a brief sketch, but as you can see, I am cramming a lot of exercise into one week, then resting as necessary.  Good luck with your training.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


I am going to be out of pocket until the Stanley Cup Championship is over. I.e., I will be glued to the set, chomping at the bit for Boston to own Vancouver, like the last time we played them.  I'm taking a "Paschall pause" and focusing all energy on the Cup. Black and Gold never quit!

When I return I am going to go Howard Hughes on the logistics of Operation Human Monster. This is one hell of an endeavor to put it lightly, and the weight gain portion has to be as regular as clockwork to have any effect. The exercise is easier than the eating, i.e. I'll be detailing extreme couponing, prep work, and realistic foods that are healthy and affordable. I wish you all happy work outs until then.    

That is all.